Managing the Manager’s ‘SCOLDING’
Raul was an able sales executive and was aiming towards becoming a manager soon.
His performance was improving with time and his boss, Mr Lee, was impressed with his progress and was a constant source of encouragement to Raul.
After about two months Mr Lee was promoted to the position of senior manager and in his place a new manager was inducted by the name of Bob Sanz.
Within a few weeks of this change it was seen by many that the new manager, though excellent at his job, had a tendency to lose his temper regularly.
He would shout and scold his juniors right in front of the others.
Because of this many of his juniors and even some if his colleagues would feel extremely nervous to even approach him unsure about how they would be treated.
Raul, being part of that team was also affected by Bob’s behaviour so much so that over a period of time his attitude of enthusiasm and passion towards his work began to deplete.
The harsh scoldings that Raul would receive from Bob began affecting him too much and add to that Raul by nature was a bit emotional and sensitive type of a person.
It was a Friday morning and there was a weekly meeting going on in which all the people from sales were present.
In the meeting
Mr Lee was also there in that meeting.
As it went on Mr Lee himself saw the way in which Bob was reprimanding his juniors for failing to achieve the desired sales targets.
When the turn came to evaluate Raul, everyone was expecting some words of appreciation especially because he was the only executive from the team who had performed the best compared to the others.
But unfortunately could still not achieve the target that was set by his boss.
What surprised Mr Lee is that rather than being positive and encouraging to Raul, Bob completely ignored his positive efforts and began scolding him for not having achieved the target.
And even went on to criticise him for the lack of proper selling techniques.
All this was a bit too much for Raul to handle and his face completely ‘fell’.
Raul was very demoralised and over the next couple of months he seemed to have lost interest in his work.
It was then that he gathered the strength to go and meet his earlier Boss, Mr Lee and share his frustrations.
“Sir, I cannot handle this anymore.
My motivation has completely plummeted to new lows.
And I do not see my performance improving anymore and the main reason for all this is the constant reprimands and scolding almost everyday.
I do not say that I am always right and the scoldings are misplaced but the way Bob speaks is in the most rude tones.
He even shouts, that too, in front of other people which is most humiliating and insulting to me and to the others too.
When you were my boss, things were different Sir.
Even the way you criticised us or pointed our mistakes was in a firm and yet a respectful tone which made us all the more inspired to improve.
But my present boss is completely the opposite and I cannot take it anymore.
I am so affected by his erratic outbursts that I am seriously contemplating leaving this organization.
Dear Sir, I have become reclusive and withdrawn not just at office but even at home.”
Mr Lee heard everything and requested that they go out for a coffee.
“Hey Raul, if by chance Bob sees you outside having coffee I am sure you are in for another very strong scolding.”
Saying this, he smiled and put his arm around Raul’s shoulder and told him to take it easy.
As they were having coffee Mr Lee began sharing his thoughts.
“Raul, there are certain things I will be sharing with you and I want you to listen attentively and then later introspect deeply.
I would like to first tell you that you, as a junior can never chose your boss and similarly it would be extremely difficult for you to change your boss.
Having said this, you can only choose the way you want to deal with the Boss and bring positive changes in your own attitude.
There are certain bosses who for whatever reasons seem to not have any control over their anger and also on their way of speaking to others.
They end up becoming habituated to being like that all the time especially to their juniors and unfortunately you and your team have got such a type of Boss.
Having said this you have a choice, either allow the boss to change you by his behaviour or you change yourself to help yourself better deal with him.
I believe you must chose the latter and begin to change yourself.
What to do
The first thing you will have to do is that whenever your boss shouts at you or speaks rudely just try to focus on the substance and the content of what he says.
You must intensify your concentration on ‘WHAT’ he is saying to you and not on ‘HOW’ he is saying it and then try to understand ‘WHY’ is he saying it.
The moment you begin to do this you will find yourself ‘Analyzing’ his expressions and not merely ‘Swallowing’ them.
Remember you must that many a times the reasons for him reprimanding or scolding you could be completely valid but not his method of communication.
Whenever you are being scolded see to it that he sees you making notes especially if it is happening during a meeting or a group interaction.
Make him feel that you are actually trying to learn something from what he is saying.
But this is not possible in all situations.
Finally remember that all scoldings are not logical and correct.
Sometimes you could be the wrong person to receive the reprimand and in such cases the best thing to do is IGNORE.
If you keep thinking about it then it will affect your morale and makes you stressed.
In such situations ‘Ignorance is Bliss’.
A smart executive is the one who welcomes criticisms despite it being rudely or even crudely presented to him and that is because he wants to constantly ‘IMPROVE’.
Remember Raul, your performance has dipped and this is only because of the way you swallowed the scolding.
Beginning from today, you must try your best to change your attitude instead of worrying about the attitude and actions of your Boss.”
Raul heard all this and later thought deeply about it and I’m sure he must have brought the changes in his attitude towards managing his manager’s scolding!
Dear readers, in our journey of corporate growth we may come across those bosses who may scold, reprimand in ways that could be rude and insulting.
Yet their intention actually could be to help you become better.
In such situations it is extremely vial that we don’t let their methods of communication affect our passion and focus.
The best thing we can and we should do is to convert the worst scolding into a great opportunity to improve and enhance our Productivity!!!
nMayur Kalbag is a Leadership Coach, Corporate Trainer & Author. He can be contacted via email: email@example.com