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The ‘Control’ Factor

The ‘Control’ Factor
December 31
11:46 2016

The entire office team was highly excited. It was Christmas time and hence their boss, Mr Zooma had decided to take them all to one of the best Clubs in town to celebrate.

It was the Christmas of Xmas, December 24. The time was just about 8pm and the party was getting started with people entering the Club.

Mr Zooma and the team too had arrived by then and some of the people had already begun to order their drinks, some alcoholic and some non-alcoholic.

A few decided to ‘hit’ the dance floor and began to set it ablaze with their amazing moves!

A couple of hours had passed and most of the people in the team including Mr Zooma were on the dance floor and enjoying the time of their lives!

By now alcohol was flowing like an uncontrollable river and many were over the top.

Some members from the team slowly walked back to their seats and then said goodbye to the others and left.

They knew that they had sort of reached their ‘limits’ and were clear that they did not want to go beyond it.

 

Out of control

The party was still going on despite the time being almost 5am. By now though, most of them at the Club had left leaving only just a few people who were still drinking and dancing passionately.

Among the few remaining people was Mr Zooma himself, the boss, and he was totally enjoying every moment of it. It was amazing to see him dance his heart out.

However, in the next few minutes what happened shocked the other people including his own few colleagues who were still there with him!

The song to which he and some others were grooving got over and then the Disc-jockey or DJ played the next one.

But it seemed to be a song which Mr Zooma probably did not like a lot. He suddenly stopped dancing, went towards the place where the DJ was standing along with the music system and, to the surprise of many present there, began yelling at him.

He called him names and even shouted extremely insulting ‘bad-words’ to the poor DJ who was completely taken by surprise as he was least expecting this kind of a verbal assault.

Mr Zooma was out of ‘control’. He then reached towards the music system and aggressively dropped it to the floor causing serious damage to it.

He heckled at his own team members who were trying to calm him down.  His main angst was that a song which he disliked was being played. That was it.

But the reaction was completely unexpected and almost unbelievable.

The same Mr Zooma, who was a gentleman till just a few hours ago, had demoted himself to the point where it was shocking and embarrassing to all the people present there and especially those from his own team.

Mr Zooma was subsequently and quite literally held by some of the ‘bouncers’ and quite unsurprisingly thrown out of the Club.

The few other members of his team finally put him in their car and drove him home.

 

Lost respect

Mr Zooma, was one of the most respected employees in the organisation not just for his professional excellence and team building abilities but also for his inspiring attitude of positivity and politeness towards one and all.

What had happened to him at the Club??? He behaved in ways that caused hurt and disbelief in the hearts and minds of his team members as well as anger and irritation to the other guests who were present there.

Frankly friends, Mr Zooma, had gone beyond his limits as far as alcohol was concerned and this was what caused him to behave in the way he did. He had ‘LOST CONTROL’.

And in that mental condition where he had least control over himself he just let loose on the poor DJ.

The respect that he had earned for himself in the eyes of his team members had surely scaled down.

“Our boss could never do such a thing, but he did and we are so shocked even till now” was a statement by one of the senior members of Mr Zooma’s team who was there when it all happened.

 

Explanation

Well, a few days later Mr Zooma was apprised about what had happened at the Club by one of his close friends who also happened to be there to celebrate Christmas!

Mr Zooma actually could not believe it but then he had to as it was true and it was his very close friend who was telling him all this.

Upon hearing this he was extremely embarrassed and saddened by his own despicable behaviour. He knew what he had to do.

He beckoned all his team members including those who probably had left the club early that night.

As they entered the conference room and took their places upon their chairs he stood up and addressed them.

“Dear members of my team! The Christmas party was amazing and I had, along with you the best time of my life!” he said.

“As you know I am staying alone in Fiji as my entire family is still living in Nigeria. However, for me, you have been my family and I am extremely fortunate to have such an amazing team with me.

“Having said this I must confess that I have saddened and disappointed you by my behaviour.

“That night in the Club I caused hurt and embarrassment to all of you and I want to sincerely apologise for it.

“But I have not called you only to offer my sincere apology and say a heart-felt ‘sorry’ to you.

“That incident has taught me something which probably I had not been taught even the Management College I attended years ago.

“We always were told about CONTROL as a Leadership quality. However the word was taught to us more so in the context of controlling others like other people and controlling actions.

“But that night’s incident has taught me a practical lesson about how greatly important is not ‘controlling others’ but ‘SELF-CONTROL’ or ‘Controlling ourselves- our thoughts, our emotions and thereby our ACTIONS.

“That night I just could not control my alcohol and that led to the actions which caused harm to the DJ and embarrassment to you all.

“I had lost complete control over my thoughts and actions. I yelled and verbally abused him and it was totally out of my character.

“I have learnt that whether in office or outside ‘SELF-CONTROL’ over my thoughts and actions is extremely required and important!

“This evening I shall be visiting the Club to personally apologize to the DJ. Dear colleagues, I want you to learn from my mistake and commit to yourselves that such things will never happen in your life!

“I have understood the importance of setting my own limits and adhering to them.

“Not just intoxicants like alcohol but even negative emotions such as anger, jealousy, fear of failure and even stress can make ‘balanced’ people lose their control and thereby make them act in ways which could become harmful and negative for the others.”

Saying this Mr Zooma once again apologised to his team and then quietly walked out of the room.

 

Lesson learnt

The meeting was over and through it, they had learnt something. They had learnt about the attitude of CONTROL, not of others but more importantly the Control of the SELF!

Mayur Kalbag is a Leadership Coach, Corporate Trainer & Author. He can be contacted via email: mayurkalbag@hotmail.com

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