Letter Of The Month

Create stable family life Our life from childhood to adulthood is both a sociological and biological development and people need to understand those changes that take place as they grow
07 Dec 2016 11:00
Letter Of The Month
Letter of the Month

Create stable family life

Our life from childhood to adulthood is both a sociological and biological development and people need to understand those changes that take place as they grow up.

Our feeling, understanding, expectation, thinking, desire, ambition, basic needs and educational status begins to change drastically as age progresses. Therefore, we should be prepared to make necessary adjustments in lifestyle accordingly.

When you are single, your way of living is different. But life during marriage needs certain adjustments for a successful, stable, peaceful, progressive and a happy life.

A lot of the characteristics of a person, be it negative or positive, are dependent upon how you handle life as married couples or in a family environment.

As a couple, both of you can make life bright – like a bouquet of flowers – and turn them into thorns.

When you plan to have a child it gives a feeling of huge expectations but you should first be prepared in advance to enter parenthood before an infant makes entry on earth.

Before becoming a parent, be ready to make the second stage of adjustments because nine months before child birth and afterwards can become a bit stressful. This is especially true for those who do not know how to handle parenthood properly

A mother will undergo pre-natal, post-natal depression and if both are not supportive during this period, they will experience difficulty in changing lifestyles then it can cause disturbance in life.

Under such circumstances, an innocent child becomes the victim when and it is really sad to witness such incidents.

Teenage pregnancies are a matter of concern in our country and the younger generations are not giving a serious thought before venturing into parenthood during such a young age.

When immediate family members are not supportive towards teenagers as parents, it can affect the single parent or child.  Life can become quite unbearable.

There is really no need and be called parents at such a young age instead receive appropriate education, gain adequate skills, get a suitable job, earn a reasonable income first and be able to  provide basic necessities of life.

Once you feel comfortable enough to stand on your own feet, it would then be wise to plan marriage and parenthood.

When you’re with someone, you need to understand each other well and deal with issues in a tactical, cool, calm, and collective manner.

No two people are alike. Couples will have differences in certain areas like interests, habits, characters and in other areas.

Therefore, the challenge for both to have a workable relationship is to make concessions if both are not compatible.

Never get into arguments that can become volcanic in nature but a controlling mechanism should immediately be applied.

Do not ever speak vulgar words and curse at anyone because such actions will sooner or later make you pay a heavy price for such deeds.

Violence of any nature towards anyone can be avoided if cool heads and there is dialogue to solve the problem.

Whether one is illiterate or has high intellectual capacity, no one is too high to learn, nobody is too low to learn. We all need to learn to understand things to make it better.

Violence is like a car radiator that has a mechanism of cooling down. Otherwise when it heats up, it can inflict severe injury in life and leave a lifetime scar.

Resorting to violence towards males, females and children will not earn respect, make a person rich, powerful in society, create a feeling of pride and in no way improve your standard of living.

Any sort of violence can be avoided if we cultivate spiritual knowledge, self control, tranquillity, aversion of fault finding, compassion, gentleness, freedom from envy and activate a controlling mechanism. Domestic disputes can end tragically and it can be avoided if one party makes an effort to control their anger. Withdraw from a hostile situation and observes only one minute of sensible thinking.

There is a zero tolerance policy in Fiji regarding domestic violence and punishments which are severe if the matter goes before Courts.

There are always avenues to settle petty matters that can turn volatile and when certain issues reach extreme stages. It can destroy a family and drastically affect children’s health, education and future.

Domestic disputes can also end lives of family members (adults/children) and also destroy dwelling houses/belongings. Under such circumstances no one is on the gaining side but there is only destruction and dark future.

Do not at all allow a problem to reach a stage when one ends up in hospital, the other in jail, homes destroyed, children displaced and everything comes to an end.

There are institutions that can provide counselling, resolve disputes, change mind set, turn things clockwise if you feel that your family is experiencing a breakdown situation.

Do not feel shy or uneasy about discussing certain matters with relevant authorities or respectable persons in society and it can remove any stressful situations and make a complete turn around in life.

We are blessed to be born as humans and can involve ourselves in meaningful activities. So is there really a need to make you or your family miserable, uneasy, horrible and full of regrets?

Chandra Prakash Singh (JP), Nasinu

Mr Singh is the November Letter winner  and he will receive a Micromax mobile phone from the Fiji Sun

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