HOLDING SPACE FOR MEN

If the leader and father of our nation is calling the men out, then who’s calling them in?

It’s a question that cuts to the heart of a growing conversation around masculinity, accountability, and healing one that Osais Counselling founder, Debra Tuibau is determined to lead with compassion and courage.

This month, her platform is ‘holding space for the men,’ creating safe, non-judgmental environments where Fijian men can reflect, share, and grow.

Ms Tuibau said the initiative was not about excusing harmful behavior, but about recognising that true change begun with understanding.

“We often talk about what needs to change in men, but not enough about how we support that change,” Ms Tuibau said.

“Men are hurting too. They’re carrying generational trauma, unspoken pain, and cultural expectations that often leave no room for vulnerability.”

The call to ‘hold space’ comes amid national discourse on gender-based violence and the role of men in society. Prime Minister Sitiveni Rabuka has spoken publicly about the need for men to take responsibility for their actions. This is a call that Ms Tuibau believes must be met with community-based efforts to help men heal and transform.

“Accountability without support becomes shame. We want to walk alongside our brothers, fathers, partners, and sons. Not to rescue them, but to remind them that they’re not alone in the journey.”

Throughout the month, Osais Counselling will host men’s circles, workshops, and one-on-one sessions, emphasising emotional literacy, mental health, and reconnection with cultural values of respect and balance.

Participants are invited to explore the roots of their behaviour, challenge outdated notions of masculinity, and learn tools to build healthier relationships with themselves and others.

“The idea isn’t to fix men. It’s to listen, to witness, and to offer a space where they can begin to rebuild from the inside out.”

As Fiji reckons with the realities of domestic violence and systemic inequality, initiatives like this highlight a crucial truth: that healing is not a one-way street, and no one can walk it alone.

Feedback: sosiveta.korobiau@fijisun.com.fj