Survivors Tell of Horrific Experiences

I was kicked in the stomach during my pregnancy, and this was the worst thing that happened in my life,” shared Labasa domestic violence survivor Shaleshni (Shaleshni is not her real name).

Recalling her physical, emotional, and mental suffering, she said she left her husband a year later, and believes it was the best decision she made.

Shaleshni remains thankful for leaving her spouse at that time because it ensured her daughter’s survival.

“I was fortunate that my daughter did not die, so I turned the situation into a newfound inspiration to live and persevere again.”

Despite this inhumane incident from the past, she did not lodge a report with the police; however, she turned her experience into an inspirational story.

She vowed to nurture and teach her daughter to grow up into a woman who will fight for her rights in any space.

“I wanted to inspire my daughter to get educated and get a job, which her husband will respect her for,” she said.

The patriarchal system that exists within Indo-Fijian families contributed to such violence, Shaleshni said.

In a patriarchal society, men have rights in all spheres of life, while women are always deprived of rights.

According to Shaleshni, the best way to combat gender-based violence is through education. Her daughter, is now eight, and Shaleshni is hopeful she reaches the highest level of qualification.

‘We don’t deserve beatings’

Another survivor, who prefers to remain anonymous, suffered physical trauma from the multiple beatings she received from her defacto partner.

Makereta (not her real name) is a civil servant in Labasa and has two teenage sons.

She moved out of an abusive relationship after she fell into depression as a result of the continuous beatings.

She resolved to go on, become a stronger woman, and inspire others after picking up the pieces of her broken life.

“We don’t deserve the beatings,” she said.

Makereta has groomed her sons to be ‘real men and not hit girls or women’.

“I taught my sons not to follow in the footsteps of the man who abused me."

“I’m a stronger woman today because of the decision I made back then to leave.”

‘Strong family support’

In an Indo-Fijian household, women who return home after a failed marriage face stigma.

In another case, a disabled mother, in Vanua Levu, who faced similar abuse from her ex-husband and his family traumatised her for a long time.

Renuka (not her real name) stayed in the marriage for a few years and decided to call it quits after the abuse intensified. The support from her family has been her source of strength to continue living.

“I now live happily with my parents, and I thank them for taking me in,” she said.

“No one from the community will come and feed you, and no one will clothe you or save you from abuse; it is you who hold the key to your freedom,” Renuka shared.

Renuka urged families to support their loved ones, especially women who are victims of abuse and not look at them differently.

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